My Life is a Drama

Chris Daughtry is the Man!

2006-04-27T13:43:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:
Interesting man, your doctor. Not many doctors write notes on three-hole paper.

I hope everyone caught Chris's performance yesterday. He sang the ultimate love song, Have you ever really loved a woman. Check out the video when you visit my blog. I've been his number one fan since the beginnings of this season American Idol. Who says that the craze is over? It's not about craze. It's about reality tv. And I proud to say that I will never miss the American Idol. If ever I miss the show on Wednesday nights due to some unforeseen circumstances, I will catch it on Sunday evenings. But I will stop watching it if Chris is ever voted out before the final two! I mean who else deserves to win if not him!? I just don't understand why is that Kelly Pickler is American's favourite. She is just a dumb blonde who can't sing. Carrie Underwood is 10 times better than her. She don't even know what calamari is. So dumb! I hope Americans will wake up after yesterday's performance that Chris don't deserve to be ever in the bottom 3.

Alright enough about the American Idol. I've done a lot of thinking. It seems that some of my friends never keep their promises. If ever I became single again, I can't seem to depend on my friends. It's been hard trying to get someone to accompany me to catch a movie or even have dinner. It seemed everyone is so busy with their own lives that spending time with friends have become a chore. Needless to say if they will comment that it's because my boyfriend is in Brunei that I'm desperate to go out with them. Even when my boyfriend is around, I've been the only one who keeps trying to ask people to go out. I'm not saying all my friends are like that but like the saying goes, Whoever eats chillies, he/she will taste the spice. I'm not saying names but this is my blog and I just want to say out whatever is in my mind.

Happy 4 Years Anniversary to us

2006-04-25T14:08:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:
My other interviews have pinned you as a mass murderer, blood sucker, pimp, profiteer and my personal favorite, yuppie mephistopheles.

Yes, it's been 4 years we've been together and our love has been stronger. Others might view our relationship as full of quarrels and fights. But they do not know the love that binds us together is so strong that only time will prove that. For now, it's already been 4 years. There are a lot of ups and downs in our relationship but to last this long, it projects the eternity time we will be with each other. Insyallah.

It's also Amirudin's birthday today. God knows how old is he. But he is a good friend of mine. Someone I can seek guidance when I need the perception of a guy. It is such a coincidence that I became Heiqal's on his birthday. Hehehe!

Heiqal called at midnight from Brunei to wish us happiness on our anniversary. I miss him so much! He miss me too. I can hear from his voice. Yesterday's conversation was sweet that it made me cried of happiness after putting down the phone. I can't wait for him to be back. I want to see him again. Please let time passes by as quickly as possible.

Love is complicated

2006-04-12T14:20:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:

Our love is as strong as death. Why be capable of feelings if we're not to have them? Why long for things if they're not meant to be ours?

The quote is self explanatory. Well, love in general is complicated. Even if it's not complicated, people makes it complicated. Why fall in love when you know that love hurts? Why feelings make us behave ways that could hurt others? Why the measure of love differ for different people? What makes us fall so deeply in love with a person that we are willing to go through anything and do anything for them?Without love, life can be lonely. With love, life can be lonelier.

A lot of events have taken place over the past few days. It raised a lot of doubts in my relationship. I do love him, a lot in fact, but he has been hurting me with his words that it is hard for me to forget. But I already forgive him on the basis that he is angry and he didn't mean a word he had said. Maybe it was due to stress. His relationship with his father has strained. Well, he is working on it. I hope everything becomes better or else it might also affect our already unstable relationship.

Wasting Time

2006-04-12T11:27:00.000+08:00

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated.At work and school, you do best when you're organizing.When you love someone, you tend to worry about them.
In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

The Birth Order Predictor

You Have Your PhD in Men

You understand men almost better than anyone.
You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well.
Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.

How Well Do You Understand Men?

You Are a Natural Beauty!

You're the kind of beauty that every guy dreams about...
One that looks good in the morning - without a stich of makeup
That's doesn't mean you're a total hippie chic though
You have style, but for you, style is effortless

What Type of Beauty Are You?

You are White Chocolate

You have a strong feminine side with a good bit of innocence thrown in.
Whether your girlish ways are an act or not, men like to take care of you.
You are an understated beauty, and your power is often underestimated!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Your Guy Is Not Pretty!

Your boyfriend is more hetero than John Wayne. End of story.
While it may be hard to get him to go dancing or shopping...
You know that he can always stand up for and take care of you.
Which is waaaay more attractive than a few well placed highlights.

Is He Prettier Than You?

Your Relationship Will Last... A Long Time!

Your guy is ideal, as close to Mr. Perfect as he could be
If you took this quiz, you may be doubting that...
Don't! No guy is perfect but yours comes really close
You guys will last for many years, as long as you appreciate him!

How Long Will Your Relationship Last?

You Are An Understanding Girlfriend!

You care about your guy, so much that you tend to put him first
And while this makes your relationship smooth, sometimes you let big things slide
Still be your understanding self, but if something really bothers you - let your guy know
He'll still want you, even if you occasionally disagree

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful
But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself
You're the perfect blend of independent and caring
You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

You Are Medium Maintenance

You aren't as hard to deal with as some girls
But you aren't the most laid back chick either
You're easy to deal with 90% of the time, but watch out for that 10%!
If the guy you are with has good intentions, then calm down a little
But if he's really screwing up, don't waste your breath - move on :-)

Are You High Maintenance?

Men See You As Playful

Men want a challenge and you are the perfect playmate
You know how to push men's buttons and attract a wide range of guys
You enjoy living and loving - it's one of your most attractive qualities
Men are often consumed with desire for you, and you love that!

How Do Men See You?

Don't listen to fucked up people

2006-04-11T11:15:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:

You are eight feet tall. Your boobs are perfect. Your hair is down to there. If I was you I would just walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't have a job, I wouldn't have any skills, I wouldn't even know how to read. I would just be... naked.

I'm so over with people commenting on my life, my lifestyle. Let me live the way I am without others interfering like the way I don't interfere their lives. Everyone makes mistakes and doesn't mean that people who wear tudung cannot sin. When the religion says you have to do something and stop you from doing a sin, everyone who is in the religion are complied by the rules. As long as I don't do something openly and might reflect shamely on the religion, then it's none of other people's business.

There! Got it off my chest at last. I'm in a foul mood the past few days. I don't know why. Prolong pms I guess. I suspect someone I am getting to know is lying to me. Too much lying that he is better left ignored. Anyway, I don't know him that well. I hate it when people think that I am so stupid like any other girl they know and lie to me just to get laid. Relak suah! I'm not that kind of girl! I love my boyfriend and I won't betray him that way. I just can't understand why some people are so desperate. Idiotic desperados! It's ok being friends but when the intention behind the friendship is known, it really disgusts me. There is someone else who just don't know how to keep a secret. Because of her big mouth, I had a fight with Heiqal. Right now, I can't promise her that I could keep her secrets.

I really hate this feeling. Feeling of insecurity. My boyfriend and I quarrelled and we almost broke up! Well we didn't thank god. The words just came out in a fit of anger. I told him that I have a boyfriend but the way I live my life seems I'm not attached. Who won't be angered by that statement right when you have try your best to make time for me. My expectations got the better of me. My need for attention almost destroyed a relationship of 4 long years. How I wish I could turn back time and stop myself from behaving that way. I don't blame him for his actions. Partly, it's my fault. I'm too aggressive. I love Heiqal. He is my soulmate. There is no one who could replace him in my heart.

I was borned intelligent, education ruined me

2006-03-31T17:23:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.

Before I do some touch up and call it a day at the office, I would like to share on what happen yesterday. Heiqal did turn up yesterday. Oh yes I was happy all right. But we had a tiff again. Well, at least we talked things out and everything turns out well. He haven't got me a gift though, sob sob. I will just see whether our plan for tomorrow happens. He promised. I planned to go to Escape theme park tomorrow and work on my fright for these thrill rides. I'm going off now to meet Jun and collect my birthday prezzie as she had promised. Hahaha!

Who are your loved ones?

2006-03-29T09:32:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:
Sometimes it's better to let the matter rest and spare yourself from misery

I was reading through Heiqal's emails to me which dated way back in 2002 and 2003. I just realised that his last email to me was in 2003. He used to be very expressive in his feelings for me. When I read the emails, I felt really loved by him. The table has been turned since then. His love for me now I just can't describe with words. It's hot and cold at the same time. I just can't differentiate his lies and his love. Am I being too sensitive? Or is he really changed into a completely new person. He used to say he is willing to change his life only for me. But now, he said that he is the way he is and I just have to accept it. He used to email me this letter before he went for a holiday in KL with his family. He missed me even before he left me while I was still sitting for my final year exams. But now, I doubt he even think of me. I have become a nuisance to him. Have I?

Only He has the answers to all the questions above. Only He knows the sacrifices I've done for him. The dreams of a successful career which has been changed to a different dream of a family in the future with him.

Heiqal, if you are reading this, let me tell you how upset I was that you had forgotten to wish me on my birthday. How you ignored my calls and how you let me cry in the still of midnight of my birthday. It's not the birthday. It's the measure of how important I am in your life. I seem to have cease importance. I feel used and ignored.

You seem to be a completely different person. When you are with me, you are so sweet and innocent. But when you are away with your family, friends or at work, you have become someone opposite. You will raise your voice at me like I am a little kid. You used to agree that we lack communication. Now, take a look at us. Can you understand how I feel?

I've forgiven you for the past mistakes that you have done. I really hope that you will at least turn up tonight. I pray for that. I miss the old loving and caring person you were. Please give me back the sweet and innocent Heiqal. I don't want any gifts from you on my birthday. Just the feelings I had 2 years ago. I love you Heiqal. I hope that you will read this one day. I hope when you read this, it won't be too late. I pray for a happy life together, you and me.

Time for a real entry

2006-03-24T16:25:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:
Tell you what. The truth is... sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.

Yes, today I'm free again. Enjoying every minute of it. Next week onwards I'll be busy already. I can't wait to go home for the weekend! I can't wait to meet Heiqal tomorrow. It's our 3 years and 11 months together. I have a reason to be extra excited about it. Next month which happen to be our 4 years anniversary, Heiqal will not be in town. He will be at Brunei for his NS training. So this month has to be extra special. On the 27th will be our first date anniversary. People! I have an announcement. 29th March is my birthday people! Prezzies please... Tak malu eh... It's ok I'm well known for being thick skinned.

Although I'm free, I have no idea what else to write. Oh yah, there is Anugerah Planet Muzik tonight. Be sure to catch it yah!

So much time to waste...

2006-03-24T13:13:00.000+08:00

You Should Be a Romance Novelist

You see the world as it should be, and this goes double for all matters of the heart.
You can find the romance in any situation, and you would make a talented romance story writer...
And while you may be a traditional romantic, you're just as likely to be drawn to quirky or dark love stories.
As long as it deals with infatuation, heartbreak, and soulmates - you could write it.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

You Are an Iced Coffee

At your best, you are: hyper, modern, and athletic

At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty

You drink coffee when: you're out with friends

Your caffeine addiction level: medium

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.
Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.
You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.

You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.
Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.
You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.
Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.
A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are secretly sensitive, but you often put up a front.
Shy and private, you yearn for security.
You take relationships slowly.
You need lots of reassurances before you can trust.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Your Love Element Is Earth

In love, you have consistency and integrity.
For you, love is all about staying grounded and centered.

You attract others with your zest for life and experiences.
Your flirting style is defined by setting the scene, creating a unique moment in time.

Steady progress and stability are the cornerstones of your love life.
You may take things too slowly, but you never put your heart at risk.

You connect best with: Fire

Avoid: Wood

You and another Earth element: need each other too much to build a good foundation

What Element Is Your Love?

You Are 23 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

On Average, You Would Sell Out For

$1,111,417

At What Price Would You Sell Out?

You Are 52% Happy

You're definitely a happy person, even though you have your down moments.
You tend to get the most out of life, though there's always some more happiness to be squeezed.

How Happy Are You?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

You are Maryiln Monroe

A classic tortured beauty
You're the dream girl of many men
Yet they never seem to treat you right

What Famous Pinup Are You?

Your Passion is Purple!

You've got a ton of passion, but you don't always wear it on your sleeve.
If something truly excites you, you let your inner intensity shine through.
But otherwise, your passion tends to morph into energy ... which you never lack.
You're a balanced woman, knowing when to turn on the fire in your heart.

What Color is Your Passion?

Your Famous Movie Kiss is from The Princess Bride

"This is true love - you think this happens every day?"

What Famous Movie Kiss Are You?

Time passes by so slowly

2006-03-23T15:26:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:
Grant told me you were pretty, but he didn't mention that you were flat-chested.

It's only 3.30pm. Damn! I'm so bored. I could have just taken half day leave but Heiqal wants to sleep at home first before meeting me. Well, he needs his beauty sleep. Haha! Anyway, 2 more hours to go before I make my way to meet him. I miss him alot since we last met last Sunday. Haha! Cam lama gitu kan. I hardly post 2 entries in a day. So you can imagine how bored I am right now. Bored to the max! I have no idea what to do when meeting him later. Catch a movie again? I want to shop but no money now. Gaji lum masuk ler. Nak main pool cam tak fun. I want to go for a holiday with him. Hopefully soon. At least we are out of Singapore right? It'll sure be fun! I have a confession to make. Heiqal, I've been untrue to you. I think I'm in love with the botak guy from American Idol. Haha! Gotcha! Well that guy is trully amazing. He's so in love with his wife, sexy voice, sexy look. Whole package. All woman's dream guy. Yada, yada. I can go on and on about him right now. Well not only because he's hot, but it's because I've nothing better to do right now. Again, I'm bored...

I'm so in love with him

2006-03-23T10:51:00.000+08:00

My new sweetheart!

Quote of the day:
You're perfect for each other! She's loads of fun, you're no fun. She completes you!

You're a Playful Kisser

Kissing is a huge game for you, a way to flirt and play
You're the first one to suggest playing spin the bottle at a party
Or you'll go for the wild kiss during a game of truth or dare
And you're up for kissing any sexy stranger if the mood is right!

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Your Job Dissatisfaction Level is 37%

Your job is not bad, but it's probably not a long term thing.
You're just not happy enough to stick around for too long...
And there's little that can change how you feel.
Start looking around for other options, but only quit for something really good!

Should You Quit Your Job?

I'm disappointed and yet I became stronger

2006-03-21T09:41:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:
When you need me, but do not want me, then I will stay. When you want me, but do not need me, then I have to go.

It's been weeks since I have the mood to update this blog. Well, another excuse is that it's been hectic at work that I don't even have time to check my mails! A lot of unhappy and happy occasions over the past 2 to 3 weeks. I cried many times, got over the matter and yet never forget some of the actions and remarks of some people. But in all these unhappy events, a good friend of mine has always been there for me. Thanks Nuraini! Thank you for listening to my woes and be the counsellor in my times of needing a shoulder to cry on. I don't exactly cry on her shoulders but I did cry my heart out to her.
It's true that Heiqal and I often squabble but we hardly fight over serious matters. Most of the time, we enjoy each other's company. But recently, I had a serious fight with him which had his father interfered. Well, maybe it's partly my fault for being an irritant. But that does not mean that his father can shame me with his accusations. What kind of woman does he think I am? Am I just a girlfriend to his son? Well, if he thinks that way of me, he's wrong. My love for his son is true and deep. I'm most sincere of my actions to his son. Heiqal do love me but he just have a funny way of showing it. As for me, never I ask him to repay me in any way other than showering me with love and concern. That's all I ask from him. And yet at times I don't feel appreciated. What can I say, I never get over it and I just won't forget as this isn't the first time he ever say that to me. When I send Heiqal off to Brunei next month, I will run into his family for sure. I won't stay and let his parents send me home even if it's after midnight, I would rather take a cab than owing his family anything.
The above quote is from the movie, Nanny Mcphee. I watched a number of movies. Yours, Mine & Ours, Big Momma's House 2, Underworld Revolution, Final Destination 3, etc. So many good movies, so little time and money. Sigh! But there's a scary movie coming up this June entitled The Omen. The preview gave me goosegumps already. I can't wait to catch it!
Life is a journey. All of us have our own destinations. It's the path we choose that determines whether we reach safely or we get lost.

The Trouble with Love

2006-03-09T13:28:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:

Some feel that to court a woman in one's employ is nothing more than a serpentine effort to transform a lady into a whore.

I just finished reading a friend's blog entitled Relationship Woes. Yeah, love relationships can be complicated and tiresome. Even when you love someone very deeply, that does not mean that he loves you as deeply. Even when you can accept his flaws, that does not mean that he can accept yours. Sometimes relationships can be unfair. That's when being a man or a woman creates a difference. The guy would say that as a woman, it is only right for us to listen to the man. Women are nothing but troublesome creatures for men most of the time unless in which they would use a woman as a playmate only when they have the time. Women are at times used and not appreciated for whatever they have done for the guy. Guys hardly shows affection to their women. Women on the other hand needs affirmation over time. Attention and affection. Just to keep the relationship going can be tiring. A lot of patience from both parties. The men have to learn to listen to their women's woes. The women have to learn to understand the guy's situation. Then a relationship can work. A lot of give and take. A lot of forgiveness. Trust which was once broken must be rebuilt over time.

Last Monday outing with the girls was fun! We had our dinner at Too Hot Halal Cafe. Then we had our desserts at Chocs which is also located at Esplanade and we had dark and milk chocolate fondue. It was simply a delight. It was sad saying the goodbyes to Narima. I can see that Narima is trying hard to hide her emotions some sort. She's leaving tonight for the 3am flight to Egypt. Wished her all the best and looking forward to seeing her again in September. I'll post the pictures as soon as June or Hidayah send the pictures.

Last Tuesday after work, I was feeling tired and a need to just pamper myself. So, I went for a Balinese massage near my house. It's cheap! $35 for an hour. Well it's a shop so $35 is considered a good price. True enough there is a lot of wind in my body. I was wrong. I thought she's a Chinese masseur. But all the masseurs are Indonesian women. It's good service. Of course I will return for future services.

Yesterday, I was on medical leave. I had a terrible flu. The doctor gave me a stronger dose of medicine which makes me sleep straightaway after taking them. Then I accompany my mum to NTUC Income office in Yishun to terminate my insurance. Of course I will get myself insured. I'm just still thinking which company and when can I start. I keep postponing to the next month.

Heiqal told me that he won't be able to meet me this weekend. This also means that I can only meet him next weekend. Shit lah! I already miss him the past few days cos he is in the jungle and can't call. Now, he can't even meet me! I dunno who to scold or to be angry at. What I know is that certain things or problems I just have to keep it from him. I do want him to know but his reaction sometimes can only make the situation worsen. Oh Allah! Please help me. Give me the strength and directions to handle the problem.

JB Driving Trip

2006-03-06T15:22:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.

It's been more than a week since I last updated my blog. Last week was a hectic week for me. A lot of rushing of reports cos of the 1.5 days of leave I took for Monday and the afternoon part of Tuesday. My youngest sister was hospitalised the previous Sunday. I spent the whole Monday accompanying her at SGH. For Tuesday, I went to the hospital again with Heiqal and went to Mustaffa Centre and later Beach Road. We also watched The Fog. The movie was just OK for us but we quarrelled before we went home. A terrible fight but we ended it well. I thrashed things which I never tell him before which are hurting me without him knowing. The rest of the days were pretty normal for me. Last Saturday, we hired a car and drive to JB. The whole trip was adventurous for us and it brought us closer together. We did not do much shopping but it was like a road trip for us. We just drive around JB. We went to the new opening shopping centre there. We met one of his excolleagues from MOE there with her boyfriend. Not my favourite bunch of his group of friends. The time when he worked at MOE was the worst time of our relationship. A third party was involved and it really broke my heart which until now I can't get over it. The trust which was broken has yet been strengthen. I love Heiqal with all my heart. People who really know me will know this very well. Anyway, we continued driving in Singapore to places we never been able to go without a car. We bought food at Adam Road and we ate in the car. It was so romantic. Basically, I just hope that we could do more of this kind of travelling often as it was unforgetable the experience of just being with him. It looks like I've just fallen in love with him. The fact is I'm still falling in love with him more and more each passing day. Tonight, I'll be having a gathering dinner at Esplanade to wish Narima Bon Voyage. I can't wait for 530. Heiqal has yet to call me since morning. I'm a little angry at him right now. That's all folks for now.

I'm in the Mood for Some Loving

2006-02-24T11:13:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:

The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn't any.

What a quote there! Believe it or not it's quoted from Marilyn Monroe. The guys for American Idol are hot and great! Especially there is this 17 year old who sounds like Micheal Buble'. And this bald guy whose voice is so soothing. And this guy who don't look that good but sounds like the singer of Nickelback. Lots of great singers this season! For those who miss it, it's their loss! I sound like their promoter or something. Hahaha!

I'm in such a good mood that Heiqal's pms that happens more frequently than mine did not affect me at all. I miss him a lot really. I was so happy to hear his voice although the tone of his voice is in a shouting mode. I understand he is tired but it is not a good excuse to let it out on me. I'm still his girlfriend! I've waited on him for the past 4 years and all these years my service has always been taken for granted. Sometimes I feel that he never appreciate me. But whatever it is, if he is reading this, I just want him to know I accept him the way he is and that I love him very much.

I'm taking half day leave today. No mood to work. So guess I will write some more only by this coming monday ya.

Goodbye My Lover

2006-02-23T15:32:00.000+08:00

Did I disappoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?

'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,

Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.

Took your soul out into the night.

It may be over but it won't stop there,

I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,

You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.

And as you move on, remember me,

Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.

I've watched you sleeping for a while.

I'd be the father of your child.

I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.

We've had our doubts but now we're fine,

And I love you, I swear that's true.

I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.

In mine when I'm asleep.

And I will bear my soul in time,

When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Quote of the day:
May the wind always be on your back and the sun upon your face and may the winds of destiny carry you off to dance with the stars.

I've been feeling kinda down. Maybe it is just pms or maybe it is because it's been 3 days since i've heard from him. How is he getting along? Is he well? Does he think of me too? Many questions left unanswered. I just found out that he did not call home too. His father had gone to KL for soccer and there is no guy figure at his home till Sunday. Everybody misses him. But I can confidently say that I miss him the most. The song above describes us the most. The only difference is that we are still deeply in love. Like the song says, I'll be hollow without him. He completes me. I'm nothing without him. And vice versa.

The American Idol this season produces some of the better lot compared to the previous seasons. This is true for the girls so far. I've yet to watch the guys perform. Tonight they will perform their first on screen. Rozi's brother had met with a motorbike accident yesterday evening. Alhamdullilah he is alright except for some fractures. These expressways can be fatal when accidents involving motorbike riders happens. Luckily, the car behind him managed to stop on time. Accidents after accidents makes me think twice of getting the license next month. Maybe I'll just settle for the car license for now. Heiqal would be back tomorrow. I really can't wait for Saturday to meet him. I love him very much.

The Season of Marriage

2006-02-22T10:24:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

I just found out yesterday from my dearest friend, Nuraini that she is already engaged and is getting married in September! Then, she will be known as Mrs Moscow! Hahaha! Rozi is also getting engaged in June. And I just read someone's blog, someone who used to say that she is not the marrying kind and is going to concentrate on her career has decided to get married after she gets her BA. Wow! What a contradicting behaviour! It seems to me that all the attached couples that I know are already tying the knots! Congratulations girls!

Yesterday, I had lunch at Banquet Harbourfront. As usual, I had fried fish soup with rice. Nuraini came over. Her fiance was so cute cos he asked her mum to cook for him mee rebus with hard boiled egg. Nuraini was saying of course lah mee rebus got egg right. So cute the couple. Everytime I listen to their conversation with their usage of awak and kita, I would find it cute. Okay, after work yesterday went out with Nuraini again and we ate our Ayam Penyek at last. Then she really wanted to drink the chocolate milkshake and so we talked at Mac at Lido and ordered 2 chocolate milkshakes. We stayed only till 8 plus cos both of us had a late night the night before and we were tired. We will plan another outing some time next week before Narima fly off to Egypt.

A Moment That Lasts A Lifetime

2006-02-21T13:43:00.001+08:00

Quote of the day:

Oh give me a man who is man enough to give himself just to the woman who is worth him. If that woman were me I would love him alone and forever.

The moment that lasts a lifetime with him is when he gave me the first kiss. I could still remember the feeling of the unexpected first kiss from him. We had our first serious quarrel that made me almost left him. He stopped me from leaving him and calmed me down. When I was feeling better and was concentrating on something else, he gave me a short, sweet kiss soon after I turned my head facing him. It was WOW! It's nothing porno or dirty about it. It was just sweet and I really felt loved by him.

I really miss him. Behind this happy, cheerful me, I'm missing him badly. Yes it's true I met him once a week but at times when he's not around, I really hope for him to be with me. He is now in the jungle and as usual, uncontactable. Why do I keep feeling this way? Why am I being tested this way over and over again? Is it too much to ask for when I ask him to call me and when he is unable to call for the next 3-4 days, why can't he talk a little longer? I've always kept these feelings to myself. These feelings of loneliness, sadness and deprived of his show of love.

Extra Sensitive Days

2006-02-20T13:27:00.000+08:00

I broke the necklace that Heiqal bought for me at the flea market, my currently favourite piece! I'm keeping the big pieces of what's left. Who knows maybe someone can help to restring a new one for me... sob sob...
I'm currently not in the mood to start doing my work after lunch. So here I am once again updating the journals of my life. The last time I updated my blog was last Friday. I went home straight after work that day. So pretty much, I just had dinner and watched TV. Last Saturday, I went out with Heiqal. He picked me up at Yishun MRT station. I'm sorry dear that you have to wait that long until they minus $2 extra for waiting time. Well, I pun dah banyak kali kena gitu, so now it's your turn.
We watched Brokeback Mountain. It was a good movie except for the sex scenes which made Heiqal gross out! I simply laughed it off. It's kinda funny to watch guys doing it. But I think the storyline and the direction was fantastic. A bit slow for Heiqal, but good for me. The storyline is different. The end was sad though. Heiqal was saying what a waste of money and that we should have watched Pink Panther instead. I told him we can always catch that show next week. Anyway, I paid for the tickets this time so to me it's money well spent.
After the movie, my sayang had to go home for his ngaji classes. Of course I was sad. The day spent together was so short. I was extra sensitive that day. I stubbornly refused to let him go. I cried but he begged me to understand his situation. I understood your situation sayang but I just miss the good old days. I want to spend every single day and minute with you.
As per usual, I went for the Sunday religious classes. I did not join the girls (Jun, Hidayah and Narima) to the beach. I can't afford to miss this week's class cos the week before I missed the class when I fell sick. Roze asked us out for dinner but that too was cancelled. This time round, Nodee and Roze cancelled the plan cos they were tired. But staying home was not a bad thing. Catch me if you can was on Channel 5 and I spent the day with my sister, Yaya.
At work today is as per usual. I did the usual stuff. Checked my mail, redo some reports, etc. Hidayah just msn me to ask us out for dinner, maybe to Little India. Narima is coming. That girl is super lucky! She got a job as a stewardess on a cruise liner based in France! How cool is that! I'm a little jealous of her freedom. I can't be like her. I'll die! I have to leave my darling which is very hard for me. For her, she's very independant. Learning French in poly is not wasted for her after all. Well girl, before you leave to embark on your next career, we'll spend some time together yah! Good luck and best wishes!

I'm not a breakfast person

2006-02-17T10:32:00.000+08:00

Good morning! I'm in a happy mood today although I'm feeling tired from not enough sleep. Yesterday, I became a workholic overnight. I had to reach office by 8am and I left the office close to 730pm. I had to complete the 2 major reports on that day itself. Nothing much happenned yesterday. Except for Wak who came to Harbourfront and lunch out with me at Banquet. I had blocked nose yesterday and eating the fried fish soup with rice and chilli padi clears it straightaway. Damn it was good! There was a sale at Walking Culture, "Buy 1 Get 1 Free". Well, Wak and I got a pair each and we shared the price of a pair! Is that a great deal or what!? The sandals is green and gold in colour. No! I'm not going to post a picture of it.

I'm not sure whether I'm going out after work today. It all depends. If anyone ask me out then I go out. If not, I would rather go home and watch the Chinese serial drama at 9pm. I'm going to stop being the organizer for the time being. I'm just going to mind my own business for now and stop being the outgoing girl I used to be. I have my reasons for doing so. I'm going to stop calling people and just wait for people to call me. That will really help to reduce my bills. Although I've changed plan from Suntalk 500 to Suntalk 800, I would rather use them for people who appreciate me as a friend. However good you are to people, sometimes you are still a 2nd choice friend for them. Someone you ask to go out with you when you have no one. So for people who treats me that way, I'm going to treat them the same way too. I've always been the one who calls everyone without missing anyone in the group and without they realising it, my high bills were caused mostly by that. But when they organize any outing, I'm left out of the list and I had to get the info from a 2nd party. I'm not being sensitive. But at times, I felt forgotten by my friends. Yes, I'm hurt by their actions but there is no use making a big issue out of it. People are busy. I'm always free what. I'm not afraid to say it all here cos they won't be reading my blog anyway.

Ok, got to get back to work now. Ciaoz....

Here I Go Again

2006-02-15T16:18:00.000+08:00

Believe it or not yesterday I composed a short message for Heiqal and sms it to Perfect 10. This was how it went.

You are the butter on my muffin;

The kaya on my bread.

The sun in the day;

The brightest star at night.

I love you Heiqal.

I'm incomplete without you.

Happy V-day.

Yes! It does sound corny and mushy but I was just trying to create the mushiest message of the day. The Muttons in the morning lurve it. I'm not sure whether mine was the mushiest but it certainly grabbed their attention. If you understand the language, it certainly "dirty" too... I swear I realised that after I sent it. Cos I got the inspiration like 630am in the morning and food was on the table. When I read the message again, it's then I remembered a scene from The Mean Girls. I won't write which scene it is cos it will be too obvious.

Yesterday I was quite busy rushing out the reports and trying to finish them before 530pm. I left the office at 530pm, not even a second late cos I was meeting Heiqal at 6pm at Clarke Quay. He managed to get night off and so we were planning to eat at one of the restaurants at Clarke Quay or Boat Quay. None of the restaurants interest us except for one. We booked a table there but we never made it as I changed my mind and wanted to try out the food at Too Hot Halal Cafe. The service there was POOR! Imagine Heiqal and I walked all the way from Clarke Quay to Esplanade and we were so hungry by the time we reached the cafe. In order to patronise the restaurant , you have to purchase this set meal for 2 at nearly $40 which consists of seafood only. I don't mind having it but to finish that alone knowingly that Heiqal does not eat seafood, it was mission impossible. I thought maybe it was just upselling but they really did not let us enter. Damn it! I hate their service whoever came up with that idea! Heiqal and I ended up at Delifrance Bistro at Suntec City. The food is ok but at least their service is very welcoming and friendly. Heiqal and I will not stop patronising them with that kind of service no matter which outlet you go. But yesterday was crazy. There were long queues at all our favourite restaurants.

Although no presents from him, I had a talk with him about our relationship. We talked about how we met, our first date, our first movie, etc. We talked about getting married on our anniversary date which has to fall on a Sunday and it happens to be on 2010, the year we plan to get married. No talk no action right? So let that date be our goal. We also plan to go for a holiday together. It's a secret for now on the destination and when it is going to be. He wants to go to Manchester for our honeymoon, but I want to watch the world cup live at the stadium itself for our honeymoon. We can still debate on that one.

A Short Entry

2006-02-13T16:08:00.000+08:00

Just a short entry for today.

Saturday
I went to Cineleisure to give my support to Wak who was queueing up to participate in the Singapore Idol 2. I also passed her the Famous Amos cookies she ordered from my sister. Heiqal and I then bought tickets to watch Casanova. The movie was alright. We ate at KFC. We ordered 3pc chicken meal. He had 1 big chicken breast part while I had 2 small pcs (wings & drumsticks). He already had his lunch with his Encik that's why he is eating so little. After the movie, we window-shopped at The Apple Store to look for skin for his new Ipod Video. WHATEVER! Then we went to Lucky Plaza Level 6 where I just had Iced Tea and he had Fried Carrot Cake with Coke. I was pissed at him for calling me deaf. We went home after that. He had religious class at night while I watched DVD. I fell sick that night.

Sunday
I didn't go to religious class that morning because I was sick. I had fever, flu and sore throat. I spent the whole day watching DVD and doing household chores basically. My sister, Yaya, queued up again for the Singapore Idol 2.

Monday
Im at work now although Im still sick. But I took some flu medicine. Non-drowsy and feeling a little better now. I'm pissed cos I've so much work but I just can't get it done and over with cos delays caused by my colleagues. I sent my resume to a few more companies which include Ministry of Finance. I can't wait to get to a new working environment. Right now, Im just counting down the minutes to go home to catch the last episode of my favourite 7pm Chinese show.

Moving On

2006-02-10T14:11:00.000+08:00

You Were a Peacock

You carry yourself with beauty, dignity, and confidence.
You are able to see the past, present, and future with clarity.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

You Were Nice This Year!

You're an uber-perfect person who is on the top of Santa's list.
You probably didn't even *think* any naughty thoughts this year.
Unless you're a Mormon, you've probably been a little too good.
Is that extra candy cane worth being a sweetheart for 365 days straight?

Were You Naughty or Nice This Year?

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves.

You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't?

It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off.

In fights, you seek compromise and back down from conflict. You always try to smooth things out.

Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Should I say the above tests' results are inaccurate? I'm artistic eh? Maybe ah when I used to write lots of short stories. I love to act but I don't think I can survive by acting alone. Especially in Singapore. My love life secrets are practically all opposites. Maybe all these were describing myself 5 years ago. People change from experiences. A change is inevitable.

I've already sent out my resume to a few companies. I hope there will be replies soon. I really can't wait to get to a new place. There are many opportunities out there. I can't possibly stuck in my current company as an outsourced staff. I need to find better opportunities with better benefits and salary. For a start, a company that offers a permanent, full time position. That is hard to come by nowadays. Even with a degree, they offer contract full time positions. Sometimes I wonder whether it is wise to change job now. But when the market is picking up, it's better to move on right?

I love the new name for my blog. But that doesn't mean I love the movie. The movie was ok. By the way, I watched The Descent DVD last night. Thank God I didn't catch it with Heiqal. There are many heart jumping moments. The story is gross but good. But no guys in the movie. Only the husband who dies within the first five minutes. He also not that handsome. It's a all chicks movie.

For lunch today, I had my favourite fish soup with rice. Last week, i didn't get to eat it cos the aunty was not selling. I fulfilled my cravings today. I even bought the turkey ham cheese croissant from delifrance. Yummy! going to eat it now...

I'm damn bored staying in the office

2006-02-09T12:46:00.000+08:00

The Offspring - She's Got Issues

I'm seeing this girl and she just might be out of her mind
Well she's got baggage and it's all the emotional kind
She talks about closure and that validation bit
I don't mean to be insensitive, but I really hate that shit
Oh man she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
She's playing the victim
And taking it all out on me
My god she's got issues
And I'm gonna pay
If you think I'm controlling
Then why do you follow me around
If you're not co-dependent
Then why do you let others drag you down
I don't know why you're messed up
I don't know why your whole life is a chore
Just do me a favor
And check your baggage at the door

I'm staying in the office for lunch this afternoon as I'm fasting today. It's 10th Muharram and fasting today have lots of its benefits. Just a word of advice my friends. Do lots of good deeds today. Been surfing the net for jobs. Heiqal never pick up my calls. So frustrating! Managed to sleep for a while just to rest my eyes. Been looking at the rows of data and it's tiring my eyes. Sofy is on leave. Settling her stuff. I'm supposed to meet Nuraini after work today but she got other plans already so I guess I'm going home straight. TV seems interesting now. Today, at 8, I'm watching the American Idol, followed by my fav Chinese drama series, followed by the Grammies. Yup, no Law and Order today. Also my favourite!
Nothing much happen since yesterday. Basically I just watched TV. Dinner I had rice with Sambal Telur cooked by my father and Fried Chicken. Yummy! My stomach is growling now. Thinking what I should buy to break fast in the evening later. The food near my place sucks! I'm so lazy to walk to blk 924. The furthest I'm willing to walk is Northpoint which have Sakura, Beriyani and Nasi Ayam. Maybe I should get the Beriyani. There is always a long queue though.
The report that my colleague asked for was completed this morning. Not bad! Fo now I have to continue on my other report. Tomorrow onwards till the end of next week, I'll be busy. It is the reporting week for me. Sigh! The months are getting shorter I tell you. It seems like only last week I was done with the previous months reports! I think I've written long enough. Time to get back to my work...

Food for Thoughts

2006-02-08T13:18:00.000+08:00

I've just had my lunch. As usual, Sofy and I ate at Comtech. She had a big appetite today it seems as she finished the whole bowl of Mee Soto and a whole plate of fried chicken internal organs. I ate rice with black squids, sambal kangkung and fried internal organs as well. We talked alot today. I told her of the need for me to get another job as I can't stand the environment here especially when she'll be gone by end of this month. My colleague from level 6 will be coming back so I heard and I won't be able to make new friends. The people in my department are just not friendly. Even those who are friendly, we have nothing in common to talk about. Just HIs BYEs. Furthermore, the move to our new office is something which I don't look forward to.

I'll try to find job openings eventhough I'll be renewing my contract. I'm still looking only for office hours jobs. If any of you have any job vacancies to be filled up, please feel free to contact me. Right now, I'll just have to go with the flow. I'm happy with my work but the work itself is getting boring.

I got a new pair of sandals yesterday at the sale at Takashimaya. Jun and I saw Hidayah with a guy over at Lido Mac. We wanted the Chocolate milkshake badly and so we sat a few tables away from them so as not to disturb the dating couple. Coincidentally, Andy was passing by with his, I think, girlfriend. But I'm not sure. I wonder what she must be feeling at that point of time. Jun and I had a talk. One of the topics is that she is unhappy that she is still stuck with office job. She was expecting to get the shift hours work at Harbourfront. But gal, look at the positive side. We still can meet up often after work yah!

Well, got to get back to work. A lot of stuff to do. I wasn't in the right mood to work today but work is still work. You got to finish them up even if you don't have the mood to do it. Lastly, I miss Heiqal...

Just Another Day

2006-02-07T13:23:00.000+08:00

You Are A Relationship Rescuer!

You don't ruin relationships, if anything you keep them together
The key: you respect yourself and your guy. Which goes further than you might think.
You simply treat your guy how you would like to be treated... the old golden rule.
And in return, he treats you like gold - or at least tries. And how perfect is that

Do You Ruin Relationships?

You Should Date An Italian!

You love for old fashioned romance, with an old fashioned guy
An Italian guy is the perfect candidate to be your prince charming
If your head doesn't spin enough, just down another espresso with him
Invest in a motorcycle helmet - and some carb blocker for all that pasta!

Which Foreign Guy Should You Date?

Funny how soon I'm writing here again when I'd just written an entry yesterday. So unlikely of me. Any Italian guys out there feel free to drop me a message! I would LOVE going out with an Italian. They are as hot as a Spanish and yet drop dead romantic. That is just a rumour I heard.

Managed to talk to Heiqal before he headed to the jungle for training this morning. Gonna miss him as he will only call on Thursday night when he gets back to camp. Will keep myself real busy as usual so as not to miss hm that much. It's like I'm getting used to this life.
I went straight home yesterday after work. Feeling a little tired as i reached home past midnight the night before. Plus, there are a few good shows on TV. I'm a new fan to the 9pm Chinese drama on Channel 8 daily. It's about a group of lawyers from a small firm and how they defend their clients whom they have to learn not to be judgemental about. Overall, it's a good show to relax with. Desperate housewives was as great as ever. Grey's Anatomy was a little boring yesterday maybe because I was forcing myself to be awake to watch it. I was practically dragging myself to work this morning.
I'm currently pissed at one of my colleagues for asking me to do this complicated report which I have to start from scratch. He just made me in no mood to do any work today thus right now I'm writing an entry for my blog. Maybe, just maybe, I will continue doing my work at 3pm. Huahahaha! (Evil laugh)
After work today, I will be going to town with Jun to do some mini shopping spree. Both of us are looking for a pair of shoes. Might be dropping by Lido Mac for their ever delicious chocolate milkhake. Yummy! I need chocolate!

For your eyes only...

2006-02-06T15:21:00.000+08:00

Well, it had been a fabulous weekend getaway. Alas, my friends sent the photos of the days at Costa Sands Downtown East chalet. Above are just some of the memorable moments... Another short holiday would be great!

Yesterday, spent the entire day with my boo! We caught the last Jet Li's martial arts epic, Fearless. The storyline is ok but the fighting scenes got both Heiqal and I practising some of the moves as we were on our way to City Hall MRT station to meet some of his campmates, his budak2 as he called them. He is their Sergeant. Pool and counter strike was fun! But I lost some of the moves. But in arcade games, I'm much better than Heiqal. Thrash him in both racing and shooting games. He refused to go for another round due to his big fat ego. Given proper training, maybe I'll be a better soldier with my accurate marksmanship. Hehehe! Jangan marah sayang.. Just kidding! You are always the best in my heart.

I'm really sorry about yesterday. I won't take what you said to heart if you are willing to forgive me for my unexplainable crude behaviour. I don't know what's wrong with me. Probably I miss you too much till I was seeking your attention in a wrong way. I still love you to bits! Whatever it is, I only want to marry you my dear!

I went out with girls too last Thursday. Noordiah was taught by our expert pool player, Nuraini. She almost gave up but once she got the momentum, she just wanted to keep hitting the balls. Hmm, today is Jun's first day at her new place. Hope that everything's going great for her. Well, Nuraini if you are reading this, I need to get a pair of new shoes/sandals. Accompany me to town eh one of these days. I also miss ayam penyek. Hehehe! You should get what I mean right. Will write somemore soon peeps! Ciaoz.....

New Look, New Attitude, New Person

2006-01-26T16:25:00.000+08:00

Make it new, but stay in the lines.
Just let go, but keep it inside.
Smile big for everyone,
Even when you know what they’ve done.
They gave you the end but not where to start;
Not how to build, how to tear it apart.
So tell it all and fill up the air,
But make a loud cause nobody’s there
And nobody’s there
And nobody’s there

It's been long since I've written here. Lots of things have happen. Happy things and unhappy things. But whatever it is, what goes around comes around. So forget the unhappy moments and look forward to the happy ones. Tomorrow is our chalet day! It's been our hard work planning so hoping everything goes well.
Yesterday Heiqal gave me a surprise! He called around 8 plus from the forest just to say Happy Anniversary! That's a very pleasant surprise! Will only be able to meet him on Monday. I really miss him and although we've been together for so long, the love is still deep and strong.
My new friend has submitted her resignation letter. Can't blame her cos her department is really hard to handle. Even I can't handle it. So sad she's leaving soon. But a new person will come and another friendship is formed. Sofi and I will keep in contact. Maybe, if I'm tired of my job, I may want to transfer to her new workplace. Just a thought.
The next time I write, I may upload the chalet photos. Courtesy of June's camera. Well a long weekend ahead. To my Chinese friends and colleagues, Happy Lunar New Year!

Happy, Satisfied Me!

2005-12-21T15:38:00.000+08:00

Yo! It's been happening the past few weeks till I have no time to update my blog. Well, where should I start? Maybe, for this entry only, I'll write backwards starting from today.

I'll be dropping by Bugis later on this evening with Jun to look for her Chinese-looking top. But first we'll be eating at Banquet at the Raffles Hospital. I had lunch with a new colleague of mine. Her name is Soffiah, in short Sofi. She's a very sweet girl and we have lots to talk about, be it during lunch or the one or two times when we went home together as I took the train from the west side as she is living at Choa Chu Kang. Almost every other day after work I have plans.

But last weekend was solely for my dearest. His parents are still in Kelantan so I was spending both days with him. On Saturday, we went to Sentosa with his army friends. The pictures he have not send me. It was so romantic as we took the cable car on the way back. We watched King Kong for 3 damn long hours. Heiqal couldn't believe it when I cried at the last part. It was touching ok! Heiqal bought me this Swatch Irony watch. He's so sweet. I love him soo much. After that, we had dinner at Cafe Vienna at Royal Plaza on Scotts Hotel. Everything was great! Except that the food was not that fantastic. I hope the plan to eat at Hyatt this coming 3rd Jan will be delicious. I heard the food there taste better.

I can't quite remember the other activities for the past 3 weeks. Well, the girls and I went to Sentosa one particular Sunday. June, Hidayah, Roze and Rozi. It was fun! But I was a bit disappointed as I couldn't try the ride. I hope the next Sentosa trip will not be too late. The girls are planning a trip to Bintan this coming February. I'm still comtemplating whether to go as I have no more leave to spare. Will know it when the day comes.

Well, got to go now. Btw, next week starting from 24th Dec to 3rd jan, I won't be coming to work. Company shutdown ah. K lah. No photos this time cos I'm lazy to upload.

My Raya Story 2005

2005-11-25T15:42:00.000+08:00

Happy 3 Years & 7 Months my dearest! You'll never guess that I'm wearing gold baju kurung to work today. Tak tahu lah apa angin... hehehe! Maybe I'm just in the mood to dress up today because of the happy occasion I guess. Although will not be meeting him until tomorrow. I miss him soo much! Anyway, I have not updated about my Raya celebration with my friends. Above are some of the pics!

Well I've already written about going to Heiqal's Encik home. The following weekend, I went out with the girls. Met up with Nuraini, Jun, Roze, Rozi & Nana to Narima's house at CCK. We wait up for Noordiah before had our lunch there. Took the cab to Rozi's place at Tanah Kayu. Took the bus to Jun's place after that. Already said that the cab would be a better choice. The aircon in the bus broke down & after that we nvr took the feeder bus. Instead we took the cab from Sengkang Int to her house. Might as well took the cab from the beginning. Anyway, Nuraini had to go off from Rozi house as she had her own open house for her family. We took the cab to my place to Yishun after that.Waited for Hidayah who finished work at 5pm before proceeding to Nodee's place. Had bee hoon soup with cili padi. Her mum's cooking power! Been in love with her mum's cooking all these years. Always looking forward to eat at her house. Hint Nodee!

Our last stopover was at Roze's house. As the karaoke queens, nodee & me are so looking forward to reach Roze's house. Took the cds from my place and sang our hearts out till late night. Got to go home cos I met up with Heiqal & his BMT mates the next day.

Heiqal surprised me as he fetched me from home in a white Subaru sports car. It's so sporty although it's just rented. We visited both my grandparents, paternal & maternal. Well been together so long. Got to learn to get along with each other's family. His BMT mates & partners waited at Bishan MRT. Got to make 2 trips b4 we change car at his place for the MPV. Spoil lah cos I wanted to ride that car. But it was fun ramai2. Last house was at Ihsan's place. Nice, cozy home. Guess what? Karaoke again! This time I duet with Heiqal. So romantic!

The following week was another blasting week. Heiqal & me met up the NYP's ex-slacker group. Haha! It's so fun. Again we squeezed in the MPV like last year but this year, a beautiful ending to the exciting day.

We karaoke, AGAIN, at Farid's house & met up with Arip who rushed there from Tekung. Poor guy! He was sad not to be able to join earlier. We went to Arip's place & that was the last house mind you. It was already past 12. Send the rest home one by one before he sent me home last & thank god I reached home by 3am!

That's my Raya story 2005. Right now, I'm working in my baju kurung gold. Haha! TGIF! My darling will be back tomorrow. Hope to meet up so that we can celebrate our anniversary. I miss him soo much!

I Love Heiqal

2005-11-09T15:09:00.000+08:00

Where are you my love? I'm missing you like crazy. You never pick up my calls nor reply my messages. I understand that you must be busy in Tekung. I can't wait to be with you on Sunday..

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

2005-11-07T13:25:00.000+08:00

I know its a bit late but better late than never. Selamat Hari Raya to all my family & friends. First of all, I would like to seek forgiveness for any wrongdoings or my words which causes hurt to anyone. Halalkan makan minum ye...

Just came back from lunch with Rozi at Comtech. I'm feeling very full and bloated. Been drinking a lot of water. Anyway, today I'm at work. Nothing special has happened yet. Today is not the first day I started working. I came to work last Friday. That day was not at all fantastic. Its already that I have to work when I'm still in the festive mood cos got some reports which can't be delayed. I even cried in the office. It was an embarrassing moment.

I tried not to think of the problems I'm having at home. If you ask me, this was the worst Raya I've ever had. But I tried not to think about it that much. I don't want to get involved. I've been getting asthma attacks quite often recently and I wouldn't want to worsen the condition by being stress. I tried to talk to Heiqal about this, not for help, but for advices on what should I do as the eldest child. I want to know what he would do if he were in my position. But you see the outcome is unfavourable to me.

I've thought about it alot. And I just want to run. Run away from all my problems. Forget about them. They will be gone on their own. It works cos I had a great time on Sunday. I met Heiqal to go out with his army friends to his Encik home. A wonderful time indeed as Heiqal and I managed to spend time together after that. We ate at Secret Recipe. He cut his hair. So sexy. Hehehe.

He's in Tekung now. I'm gonna miss him all over again. Maybe we are going out this coming Sunday. This coming Saturday, will be going out with my girlfriends for Raya! So looking forward for it. Till then I guess. Will write here again soon.

White Raya - 3 1/2 Years Anniversary!

2005-10-24T14:10:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling bored at work today. But I had a great time last Saturday. The above is me and Heiqal. Haha! No I did not upload the picture wrongly. Anyway, we managed to catch the show Into the Blue at last! Heiqal been busy at work so there are many movies which I miss. So whenever he manage to book out, we'll catch whatever is on screen. This month also must save some cash to do some shopping for Raya, so I try not to catch movie if Heiqal do no book out.

We met at about 1pm at Yishun MRT station and we proceed to Orchard Lido. After the movie, we walk around town for a while before we took the train to Bugis. We walk around Arab street to look for Raya clothes and to look around the mini bazaar. We break fast at Fish & Co. I had Ghostly Fish & Witch Potion which is the current promotion for the upcoming Halloween. POWER! Heiqal belanja!!!

After buka, we went to Geylang. The plan was to meet his friends. But before that we walked around Tanjung Katong Complex & the bazaar to look for our Raya clothes. At first, grey was the colour that we wanted. But in the end, I decide to buy white. Heiqal bought his at the bazaar. Then we walked all the way back for mine at Tanjong Katong Complex. Well, a girl is very leceh. I have to try on and did some alterations to my kebaya whereas for Heiqal he just ask for size M, measure it to his body and there its paid. So I took about more than half an hour to try and let the nyonya to take measurements. I understand he was tired. He was pretty mad and was exhausted waiting for me. He didn't meet his friends after that & we went home straight. He slept in the train.

I was happy that day. I miss him so much and was pleased that he stayed with me throughout the day carrying his huge army bag around. Tomorrow is our 3 1/2 years anniversary! If you are reading this sayang, Happy Anniversary! I love you soo much.

Determination to Change

2005-10-20T10:36:00.000+08:00

First of all, "Selamat Berpuasa di bulan Ramadhan & Semoga Segala Amalan Diterima OlehNya," to all muslims who are reading this.

While writing this, I'm listening to Raya songs which are already playing in the local radio stations. Its been a while since I've updated. Well, been busy at work. Now that all my reports are done, I finally have the time to load my photos and update this blog.

Why the title? This year's Ramadhan means a lot to me. I've done alot of sins which I hope would be forgiven by Allah. I hope to start anew. I'm grateful for all that Allah had given me. A good job, good & trusting friends, a complete family, & last but not least, my dream guy, Heiqal. I hope that all these Allah will continue to bless me and a better future ahead. Amin.

I really miss Heiqal. I don't know whether it shows in my actions or whether he realise & feel it too. But the more I miss him, the more I love him everyday. Maybe its true that absence make the hearts grow fonder. Sometimes, I feel really lonely. But I'm glad if he really made up his mind about signing up in the Army. People might think I'm crazy cause I'll be lonelier but I think its for the best. For our future. Sounds corny but I really made up my mind of marrying this man.

Latest news, my office will move to Depot Road from PSA Building, Alexandra in April 2006. I heard its so ulu. But heck. My contract will end before that. Then I will decide whether to stay or leave. The current office is so centralized, although its quite a distance from my home. I can go to town or even the west side in less than half an hour. But what to do about it? HP has decided to move. I will miss the current office though.

Photo Mania

2005-10-20T10:19:00.000+08:00

Model Tak Jadi

Aren't we sweet?

Jalan-jalan di Geylang

Favourite Photo

Bubbly Girls

Unbelievable But True

2005-10-07T11:11:00.000+08:00

You Are a Total Girlie Girl

You love looking good, and wooing men with your womanly ways.
You're so feminine, men are in awe of you ... which is a very good thing.

How Girlie Are You?

Heiqal is a lucky guy, I guess...

2005-10-07T11:05:00.000+08:00

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtfulBut you also haven't stopped thinking of yourselfYou're the perfect blend of independent and caringYou're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

I'M TOTALLY PISSED WITH MY BOYFRIEND & MUM!

2005-09-30T09:24:00.000+08:00

I'M SO TOTALLY PISSED WITH HEIQAL & MY MUM. WHY CAN'T WE JUST GO AHEAD WITH THE PLAN OF PAINTING THE HOUSE?! I WAS SOO LOOKING FORWARD TO A NEW LOOK FOR MY HOUSE FOR THIS COMING RAYA. I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE'S THINKING. IT'S NOT MY HOUSE ANYWAY. I'M MOVING OUT AS SOON AS I GET MARRIED. SHE USED TO TELL ME TO GET MARRIED QUICKLY AND BERAMBOS! STILL REMEMBER THOSE WORDS ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE SAID THAT EVERYTIME SHE'S ANGRY! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW ABOUT HEIQAL? HE'S SUCH A JERK! HE MADE ME STAYED UP TILL MIDNIGHT JUST TO WAIT FOR HIS FUCKING PHONECALL JUST BECAUSE HIS FUCKING HANDPHONE LINE WAS CUT OFF! LUCKILY HE CALLED THIS MORNING BUT I'M STILL PISSED OFF AT HIM. HE DIDN'T GIVE ME A CHANCE TO HAVE A PROPER CONVERSATION WITH HIM! CAN'T HE JUST GIVE ME A PROPER LOCATION OF WHERE TO MEET LATER?!!!

WELL, HE STILL DUNO THAT THE PAINTING HOUSE PLAN WAS TOTALLY OFF NOW. WILL TELL HIM LATER WHEN WE MEET. HE GOT HIMSELF TO BLAME FOR NOT HAVING A PROPER CONVERSATION WITH ME JUST BECAUSE HE IS SOO BUSY IN CAMP. HOW BUSY CAN YOU GET? IF YOU CAN RELIEVE YOURSELF, WHY NOT CALL ME?!!!

I SOUND LIKE A BITCH SCOLDING THE TWO PEOPLE I LOVE HERE. I NEVER GET THINGS OUT OF MY CHEST. KEPT EVERYTHING INSIDE. NEVER EVEN ARGUED BACK. JUST NEED A CHANNEL TO LET EVERYTHING OUT. HOPE THAT THE REST OF THE DAY WILL BE FINE. JUST GOT MY SEPTEMBER PAY! WILL BE GOING SHOPPING LATER FOR MY RAYA STUFF COS I DUN LIKE DOING LAST MINUTE SHOPPING. GOT TO ENJOY AND PAMPER MYSELF AFTER A BAD DAY YESTERDAY AND A BAD START THIS MORNING.....CIAOZ

I have a new colleague!

2005-09-27T10:14:00.000+08:00

Yes! My dear friend is now my colleague! She's just 2 floors below me at 5th floor. Lunchtime will never be the same again.

Yeah! Lots of happy & good things have been happening to me. The good changes in my boyfriend makes me love him doubly more! Maybe both of us are more matured now.. I can't wait to be his wife! Naughty Herni!

Even my good friend is now working with me. Thank god we are not in the same department! Kecoh sak kalau gitu! Every morning, we'll go to work together, lunch together. Balik time jer kadang2 her devoted boyfriend will fetch her. Hehe! Sometimes jealous jugak aku but what to do, my boyfriend is serving NS. I still love my darling though!

This coming weekend, I'm painting my home. My boy will help me out! I hope to get him closer to my family.. & also making good use of him. KIDDING!

I guess that's it the update of my life so far. I don't want to be too detailed like a particular someone who doesn't even know that she is telling everybody how dumb and boring she is by writing about even the smallest detail!

I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

2005-08-23T15:33:00.000+08:00

I can't take it anymore! Why do you have to be cruel to me everyday!? Do you know how much pain I'm keeping to myself? You'll never understand how I feel. What else should I do? I feel used! You used me for your own happiness! You never think about my happiness a single bit! You keep breaking my heart, breaking promises!

It's been ages!

2005-07-14T16:15:00.000+08:00

I know, I know. I'm not a regular in writing blogs. I've been busy. Work. Tuition. Mendaki classes. And I have a life too. Been going out with my boo, catching up with my poly friends. Miss them lots!!! But we can hardly hang out that often. Timetable clashes.

I love my job at Hewlett Packard. The pay is good! The work environment is good! The workload not that I can't handle. I can even chat at work.

I guess I'm just updating this blog abt what has been happening in my life. My problems are plenty. But I prefer not to think abt it. Like what my boo said to me, "Jangan byk fikiran. Just go with the flow!"

Ass- Hoooooless

2005-01-11T00:58:00.000+08:00

What do you expect from a lady guys? Kindness, loyalty, forgiveness, understanding, love & affection? Or is it money, feelings to be toyed with to boost your thick ego, or a boxing bag to hit on when you are down?

When a lady is quiet, that does not mean she is weak. She just loves you and is letting you away from punishment. But when a lady feels that enough is enough, guys should have something to worry about. Ladies will do anything to get back at you and make sure that you won't repeat that mistake ever again, be it to her or to other ladies out there.

SeBen

2005-01-07T01:00:00.000+08:00

The "Lepak Members of NYP MacDonald's". Heiqal's sisters were with us too. The one in the pink tudung is my very good friend Wak (Noraini). All eleven of us squeezed in Heiqal dad's 7-seater car. Nasib baik traffic police tak stop kita on the road. Ish!

RH Fashion Pageant

2005-01-07T00:25:00.000+08:00

Narima is in this picture. This was our first house (Rozi's place). She joined us only for the first 3 houses as she got to work. But still that day was spectacular, the karaoke session, the runway catwalk at the carpark, and the company was awesome!

A Big Happy Family

2005-01-07T00:15:00.000+08:00

My beloved buddies who went through thick and thins together with me without giving up on me. Missing in the picture are Lin and Nuraini as they were not able to join us for the Hari Raya celebration this year. I love you guys!

Unforgetable Memories

2005-01-06T08:16:00.000+08:00

The good memories... Don't we look good together?

A Special Feeling

2005-01-06T02:00:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking of you today
of how we kiss in our special way
of warmth and tingles
when I hold you of your eyes' golden hue

There's a special feeling in my heart
a desire never, ever to be apart
a feeling granted from heaven above
a gift you gave me that's called love.

That makes me sit and wonder still...
Have you been thinking of me too?

Love is a two-way street. Each person giving, loving, & reflecting the best of the other person.

2005-01-06T01:30:00.000+08:00

Heiqal,
Dearest,
I know that what we've gone through together are tough & the fact that we are still in love proves how strong our love is. Although we fought alot, we cannot just forget the things that binds us together and keeps our love going strong. I wish we will try our best to make this relationship works. Don't torture yourself. Please show your feelings for me. There are ways to stop the past mistakes from happening again. Last note, I really love you very much & I hope you feel the same way too.
Love Always,
Herni

Bagai Pinang Dibelah Dua

2005-01-06T01:24:00.000+08:00

This picture was taken at Abang Amir's barbeque. Heiqal & I had been an item for only weeks. By the way, it's been years since I've seen Abang Amir. Is he married with his long term girlfriend? Hope that he won't forget to invite me & my darling so that we can eat nasi minyak!

2005-01-05T03:23:00.000+08:00

This is me before wearing the tudung,celebrating Hari Raya with my darling, my then best friend & her exboyfriend.

Professions of Love

2005-01-05T02:52:00.000+08:00

Aku mencintai mu
Seperti ku cintai hari-hari ku
Dengan keriangan.

Kerana cinta
Maka kau tetap ada
Kerana cinta
Dunia ku punyai warna.

Cinta ibarat air laut
Kadang kala pasang
Kadang kala surut
Bila pasang kita bergelora
Bila surut kita bahagia.

Halaman diantara jejari mu
Diciptakan untuk satu makna....
Diciptakan untuk tangan ku
Untuk membimbing tangan mu.

Begitulah
Cinta ku begitu tulus
Cinta ku begitu suci
Tidak gamak ku abaikan.

Semoga ceria selalu Sayang....
Tulus ikhlas ,
Muhammad Heiqal Hashim